Soaps in review: A huge EastEnders talking point, how to do big returns and the exits that arent exits
With killer storms, sordid affairs, award ceremonies, massive returns and major exits, the soap world has been on fire of late. In the latest soaps column, I wonder how much we can believe an exit, I marvel at Hollyoaks just really going for it with Stephanie Davis return and I commend EastEnders handling of Ruby Allens ongoing consent storyline.
Welcome to Metro.co.uks every-so-often sideways look at the action going on in soapland. Are EastEnders and Coronation Street nailing it? Are Emmerdale and Hollyoaks on the up or plummeting down? Who is on top form, which stories are too baffling for words and what are the most burning questions? Our soaps editor examines whats happening in our soaps right now and gives his (expert? Who knows?) views.
EastEnders – everyones talking about it again
There are several things that a soap must do in order to be a success. It must tell a mix of stories and it must balance human and tragedy. It must be at least somewhat relatable and always engaging. And it must always have a long seven second silence complete with shocked look between the last line and the end credits rolling.
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The other important factor is of course that the viewers care. For good or for bad, fans need to be talking about the show. No-one will deny that there have been some turbulent years for EastEnders. I have, very often, fiercely defended it as a show that I love – a lot of the criticism has been somewhat unfair and almost hysterical in some quarters.
That said, it hasnt always been firing on all cylinders recently and I say that as a man who loves a samosa. There have been some standout moments of course – the funeral of Shakil was eye opening and moving drama, the return of the Slaters was hilarious, the sinister week of Stuarts shooting was gritty and the Christmas downfall of the Branning sisters was heart stopping.
EastEnders latest achievement is the ongoing rape and consent storyline featuring Ruby Allen. Louisa Lytton has been a revelation and has really proven her acting capabilities during the ordeal which has left Ruby confused and, at points, almost self loathing.
The show deliberately didnt show what happened to Ruby but this isnt about whether or not she is lying – from the outset, it is about believing Ruby even if pieces of so-called evidence involving her flirting and enjoying the company of the men try to de-rail her case.
The interesting dynamic is what this will do to Martin and Stacey. Stacey is unwavering in her belief of her best friend and not just because she too has endured rape. However, Martin is less sure and is prone to being drawn into the explanations of his friends, who deny all wrongdoing.
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In fact, it seems that the men completely believe that they are in the right which makes them both more dangerous to women and to themselves. So while traditionally a rape storyline will focus on the story of the survivor or victim and present the message of speaking out – and this storyline DOES to that – this saga also highlights the side of the perpetrator who needs serious education about consent and attitudes to women.
As much as this storyline is capable of giving survivors a voice, it is equally capable of delivering a wake-up call to any men who might put themselves on the wrong side of what should be a very clear line.
Everyone watching at home can see the disgusting behaviour of the men who treated Ruby like a piece of meat for their entertainment. And yet in so many nightclubs and parties across the UK, behaviour like that is prevalent.
For that alone, EastEnders has a triumph on its hands. But the storyline also serves as really engaging drama without sensationalism and is encouraging fans to discuss issues and episodes with deep interest again.
And that can only be a positive sign for a show that seems to be on the cusp of a resurgence.
Welcome to the Hayley Slater and Rebecca White school of fake exits
Hayley: Welcome everyone, to our advanced class on making people believe you are going to leave an area – but then you dont.
Rebecca: We have some great tips and tricks for really pulling the wool over someones eyes and delivering a much better u-turn than Lachlan did on that pesky road.
Hayley: Like first of all, you could have a row with your faaaamily and then threaten to leave only to be talked out of it last minute.
Rebecca: Yes, yes, always a classic. Or you could simply head abroad and then return a few weeks later.
Hayley: Yeah or you could have another bust up, say with Kat or summink, and then threaten to go. But then Jean can talk you round?
Rebecca: I mean, youve already done that one but yes, fair enough, I guess people could believe it twice. You could end up in a crash after tabloid rumours of your entire family being given the chop. But then survive.
Hayley: Or an argument, with a bit of drunkenness, then threaten to leave?
Rebecca: Hmm. Ooh, I know! You could also disappear and leave behind only a blood stain. Am I dead? Ooooh. No, no I am not.
Hayley: How abaaaahhht…?
Rebecca: Yes, a row with the family, got it. But you could then be throttled literally on screen and disappear again only to then be held hostage by a nurse somewhere.
Hayley: Thats maybe a bit far-fetched love. I know you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth but you cant expect the public to swallow anything. Stick to a plain old row with the family then changing your mind. Works wonders. Right Im off. Or am I?
Rebecca: Yes me too! Taxi! Maybe…
James Nightingale – the king of Hollyoaks
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Okay, James has carried out his fair share of diabolical schemes but the guy has had a hard life and I can forgive him a lot purely on the basis of him being such a fascinating and deliciously engaging character.
Storm week has proven that Gregory Finnegan is one of the shows most brilliant talents of all time. His genuine agony at the breakdown of his future with Harry, his disgust at finding out he has a son and his equally hilarious but heart wrenching delivery of the phrase: I have just had the best day were all highlights of the week. He was then consumed by conflict when he feared that the son he doesnt want to exist nearly drowned.
And then there was the inspired reference to Ste as a tracksuit hanger. Absolutely brilliant.
All through this, the #Starry vs #Jarry war wages on. I am always reluctant to dip my toe in matters of passionate fandom – that kind of risk leads to lost toes and worse. However, I might dabble on the edge of controversy here in pondering whether James deserves better.
I get the sizzling passion of #Jarry and certainly believe in the sparks. I definitely FEEL it. But as James rightly pointed out, Harry has been a bit of a coward throughout all of this, running from the soft cheese and salmon canapes of his wedding day to a declaration of all time love for James after his big day fell apart.
It was a grand gesture from Harry but did it come a little late? Whats to stop Harry entering Starry territory again when the mood takes him? I believe in James love for Harry and, to a degree, I believe Harry reciprocates.
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But does he have it in him to be the man who can make James happy and content? Can he deal with James complexities without fleeing when the going gets tough? And can he cope with having Marnie and Mac Nightingale as in-laws?
My Jarry jury is out – Harry at least needs to step up and decide what it is he wants. But my James jury is in. Shameless James fan? Guilty.
Girl power
Victoria Barton doesnt need a group of men to save her from a Sinbad from Brookside lookalike thug, thank you very much. Aaron might be pretty good at locking people in car boots, Robert is handy with a grain pit and Matty gives a decent right hook to lairy blokes in pubs.
But when it comes to beating down con-men private investigators – Victoria is fine on her own. And he wont be trying THAT again in a hurry. Stick to cleaning windows, Sinbad.
That face you make…
…when your stepmum plays you audio of her romping the local 19-year-old mechanic.
Lets put the too dark talk to rest
Sometimes soaps are dark. Coronation Streets first suicide storyline and tram crash aired in the 1960s and EastEnders very first episode commenced with a death. Not to mention every single episode ever of Brookside contained a horrific theme of some kind.
This is not new to the genre. I dont want to rake over the dull was Corrie too dark chat again. Except to point out that at the viewer voted Inside Soap Awards, Corrie ended Emmerdales five year reign to win Best Soap. And then seven more awards on top of that, two of which were for comedy.
Too dark? Viewers switching off? Ive got a Phelan that this argument is now dead in the water. The growing viewing figures over the year help too, natch.
If Carlsberg did returns…
Then theyd have Stephanie Davis racing through a storm to ruin her exs wedding, bonking Sami Maalik in the back of a car, surviving a f***ing tornado before then nearly being impaled by the sign of the village she hasnt even arrived in yet.
Classic.
Pete the hero
Pete and Rhona are the gift that keep on giving and may be 2018s answer to which couple did you never expect to take off? question. But as much as we are truly feeling the Rhona and Pete vibes (do we have a ship name yet, lads?), we are just living for Petes adorable relationship with her son Leo.
His patience, his humour, his genuine care and the fact he invested the time to learn Makaton makes Pete the stepdad every Leo deserves.
And its really added a seriously endearing and very watchable side to Petes character.
On one hand…
Mac may well have turned over a new leaf and wants to make amends with his family and be a better man.
On the other…
Pray for Keanu…
Louise has been blackmailing Keanu and Sharon in the next step towards the explosive showdown with Phil that I simply cant wait for. This could have the makings of Sharongate mark two and while I am often wary of soaps trying to replay their greatest hits, its been a long time since we have seen Phil properly lose it.
Pray for Keanu everyone. If ever someone was marked for the classic EastEnders Christmas death…
Look after Jacob!
Over in Emmerdale, Jacobs desperate attempts to get the attention of Maya and his glow when he basks in her adoration are ringing serious alarm bells. Please keep an eye on this one David as it could end very badly.
And you should have known better than to trust a Maya in soap. Your shop could be next. Just ask Dev…
Final thoughts
- Steve should count himself lucky. The fact he only got stranded in a desert rather than having his head caved in with a statue shows that Tracy is getting better.
- The return of Dr Legg is an absolute tonic for EastEnders, even though we know he and Dot are going to break our hearts.
- The strength in the Maalik abuse story is that despite his unforgiveable actions, Imran is a redeemable character and we can have sympathy for him at the same time as wanting to throttle him.
- So Jude Appleton. The man who was able to lie for his whole marriage about being a marine biologist was lying about being a paramedic and a hero. No wonder Mary and Angie didnt see it coming.
- Were very much enjoying our every so often visit into the lives of Max and Rainie for a week at a time before a month or so break. Very fluid and not at all frustrating. Isnt there a custody hearing we should be seeing them prepare for?
- In a week of punches, crashes, cake fights and graveside brawls, Sally Ann Matthews trounced them all with Jennys very human and very heartbreaking response to Johnnys betrayal. Very understated but well played.
- Dot was saddened to hear about the death of Joyce on her return to Walford. Though part of her must have been thinking thats 2-1 to me, cat thief.
- And finally, Tegans death was just tree-mendous in Hollyoaks wasnt it? Even if the episodes were a bit bark-ing. Sorry, they do say to end on a joke but Ill leaf it there.
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