- England are 2-0 down in the Ashes after losing the first two Tests
- The tourists must not lose at the WACA if they are to retain the Ashes
- But Joe Root's side are beset by problems both on and off the field
- And England have not won a Test match at the WACA since 1978
Published: 19:30 EST, 13 December 2017 | Updated: 22:19 EST, 13 December 2017
That might just be the most appropriate metaphor too, given that England's tour has been beset by a number of off-field embarrassments, with Ben Duckett's drenching of James Anderson in beer following on from another incident in the same Perth bar, Jonny Bairstow's 'head-butt' on Cameron Bancroft.
But that could all become a footnote in history should Root's men stage a staggering comeback from here to retain the Ashes. They must first win, or at the very least avoid defeat, at the WACA, famous old home of Australia's fastest pitch, where an England side has not won a Test since 1978.
Australia's fast-bowling attack of Mitchell Starc, Josh Hazlewood and Pat Cummins will be licking their lips at the prospect of peppering the troubled England batting line-up, which includes Alastair Cook playing in his 150th Test.
You can follow all the first-day action with Sportsmail's GLEN WILLIAMS, with PAUL NEWMAN and RICHARD GIBSON providing updates and session reports from Perth.
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