If things are going well for the Wallabies on Saturday night, Michael Hooper will have no idea you are there.
The clamour and colour of almost 45,000 people, the expectation of the series decider, will be bearing down on him at Allianz Stadium, but Hooper will be so deep in the zone, so far down the rabbit hole of peak performance, that he will see, hear and feel none of it.
Pride in the jumper: Wallabies captain Michael Hooper
Photo: Stuart Walmsley
"You're planning what's ahead, where you are, and what you need to do. 'I just got a big shot put on me, how do I avoid that happening again', or 'I want to smash that bloke'," he says.
"I love being in that moment, in the game, when you don't know there's a crowd unless you're on the other side of the field and Izzy [Israel Folau] is running in to score a try. That's when you hear the crowd, or if someone does a big tackle you might hear them.
"Other than that you're just in it. And that's fun. That's the drug of playing. That's why we've talked about this game being big, because it's going to be really competitive and really exciting. That's the stuff you long for, that's what we're all here for, to play in those games."
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So Hooper will be in the zone, and nothing will drag him out of it. Except for one moment, just before Ireland and Australia run out, when the players are matched with the U8s player they'll shepherd out on to the field and stand with during the national anthems.
In that moment, the fretful exuberance of a kid from the Medowie Juniors or the Nelson Bay Gropers will slice through the Australian captain's focus in an instant and bring him back to earth.
I know it's finite, the time you get to be in this position, and how lucky you are to get to represent your country
Michael Hooper
"It's actually great, I was thinking about it the other day. You're there getting yourself really focused for a physical game, big tackles, everyone's pumped up in the change room and then you walk out and hold a little kid's hand. 'How are you going mate, what team do you play for?' It's a real leveller," he says. "They're nervous but they're also very excited. It's great for them and it's probably good for us as well."
Hooper has grown up in the Wallabies jersey. He was just 20 years old the first time he pulled one on, and it has taken some time for his appreciation of his position to develop. In 2012 the jersey symbolised personal achievement, the summit of a rapid trajectory from the Manly Roos to the Australian Test team. In 2018 it means more, though he is much more comfortable showing you what it means than telling you.
"It's hard to put into words, I find this really hard to answer, because I feel like you go out and 'do' it in the jersey," he explains. "You put it on, then you run out and try to add to the jersey."
That's not quite it. Hooper keeps searching. "It means everything, right, that's the common answer, but you get this thing [the jersey] and you just want to make the most of it. I want people to be proud of the jersey."
That's still not what he means. He tries a different tack. "I love when the team's done well and you go home and you see people out and about wearing the jersey. Or game day, when you see a guy or a girl going for their morning walk and they're wearing it. You think 'I get to play in that' and that obviously means so much to them that they're proud to wear it on their morning walk. That's when you know you're not just going out and playing footy anymore, you're representing the country. That's what I mean when I say it means everything, because it means so much to me and so much to other people as well."
The year it shifted for Hooper was 2014, the year of heaven and hell in Australian rugby. The Waratahs won the Super Rugby title in August, Hooper became the third youngest person in rugby history to captain a Test side after injury ended Stephen Moore's season, but not three months later the Wallabies imploded, culminating in the resignation of coach Ewen McKenzie.
"That was when I started to get an understanding of it [the jersey]. We had a good Super Rugby season and then the Wallabies certainly didn't go the way that we wanted it to. Then we went into the World Cup and it was the other side of things, then 2016 was back down again," Hooper says.
"Because you ride the highs and lows you begin to understand that it's not just you that's in the situation. It's everyone in it together. You're just the lucky ones who get to do something about it. 'Cheik' [coach Michael Cheika] tells us that all the time, 'You're the ones who can actually go out there and make a difference, make the change'. I think that's really good advice."
With the privilege comes the pressure. The Australian cricket team aside, there aren't many teams that come under scrutiny as intense as that under which the Wallabies operate. Hooper leads the Wallabies out against the world's best team, the All Blacks, at least twice a year.
You won't hear him complaining, of course, even when the criticism is at its most shrill or vitriolic. This is the young man who is happiest when he's been belted by an Irish prop, his team is trailing on the scoreboard and he has to find a way out.
"I have been on the other side of things when everything's great and when things aren't great it's tough, but it's so exciting to think about what we can do, what's in front of us, and to keep pushing yourself forward. That's why it's a challenge, not a burden. It's a good challenge to have," he says.
"And now I know it's finite, the time you get to be in this position, and how lucky you are to get to represent your country. I watched the Socceroos [on Thursday] night and I was proud to see them playing. I know people feel the same about the Wallabies."
Georgina Robinson is a Sports Reporter for The Sydney Morning Herald
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